Lads, you never truly understand a woman until you go through a divorce with her.

Actually, let me correct that. The woman you marry is not the woman you divorce. Not because marriage is a bad idea as a concept — I still believe in it, I grew up wanting exactly that, the one girl, the wedding, the family. The problem isn't the institution. It's how badly most men handle selection before they ever get there.

I met a girl. Three years together — exciting, a lot of love, a lot of fun, and also a lot of turmoil that I told myself was just "normal relationship stuff." She'd had plenty of exposure before me. I knew that going in. And like most guys, I told myself I was special. That her past didn't matter. That she'd be different for me.

I decided to marry her anyway. Flew us to Bali, spent $70,000 on the wedding, fully committed.

Within days of getting married, the dynamic changed completely. Suddenly there were demands — a boob job request days after the wedding, no interest in contributing to the relationship, a friend group where every girl had married a guy with money and was quietly cheating on the side. I told my sister a few weeks in that I thought I'd made a mistake. I was right.

It came to a head in the kitchen one day. She wanted access to half my net worth. When I didn't immediately hand it over, she told me she'd leave if I didn't. I looked at her and said, "Well, it looks like you're leaving then."

She left for Indonesia. Word came back about how she was spending her time out there. I still wanted to save it — I believed if you get married, you see it through. I even found a book from a divorce lawyer and asked her to read it with me so we could meet in the middle. When I got back from a work trip and asked if she'd bought it, she told me she didn't want to "waste the money" — with my money, sitting in her account.

That was the moment. I hung up the phone and called my lawyer.

What followed was months of negotiation that would break most men mentally — demands for business class flights she'd never once flown before, attempts to get a house out of me after eighteen months of marriage and no kids. When I finally got her to Spain to sign the papers, I asked her straight: why did you try to extract so much from me? She said, honestly, "I was scared, and I wanted to get as much as I could for myself."

If I hadn't stepped outside my emotions and followed the logic instead, I'd still be in that marriage today, miserable. That's the whole lesson. It's a choice, every step of it — and most men make the wrong one because they let their feelings override what they can clearly see in front of them.

Since then, everything's changed. I understand frame. I understand selection. I understand what women actually respond to versus what they say they want. And the setup I have now — women who are with me because they actually want to be, not because of a contract — exists because I finally did the work to get the selection right instead of running headfirst at the first girl who was good in bed.

Marriage isn't the problem, lads. Getting it on paper with the wrong woman is. Choose properly, take your time, and understand that when it goes wrong, it goes wrong in ways that will genuinely break you if you're not prepared for it.

I didn't get to where I am now by figuring it out alone. I paid to sit in rooms with men who already understood women, frame, and selection at a level I didn't — and let them rebuild how I think about all of it from the ground up.

I only work with a small number of men directly, one-on-one. Not a course. A real rebuild.

Click here to book a call and start getting this right.

Disclaimer: We don't work with guys who aren't willing to invest to actually fix this. The purpose of this call is to see if we are a good fit to work together — it isn't therapy. If you're serious about doing the work, click the link above to book a call. If you're not there yet, no hard feelings — keep reading, and we'll see you when you are.

All the best, lads.
Ryan Unhinged
Unhinged Society